I was talking with a friend this evening and we were discussing the fact that when we know what to do to take care of ourselves, its good when we follow through with it.
The fact is we usually know what we need to do. There may be times when we are stumped, or our brain isn’t functioning correctly. We need our friends and supportive family to remind us.
Repetition seems to be the best teacher, at least for those in my circle of friends. I for one, seem to keep doing the same type of things whether they are working for me or not.
Finally, when I start recognizing the same path I’ve been going around for days and months I get it! I want to find the way out and regroup!
I was in a position today, where I had to tell someone I had to have some advanced notice. My legs do not function on a fifteen-minute notice. Could I have said it kinder? Yes. I’ve been around this same path that I could not handle or allow his crisis to become my crisis. If I did, I would allow it to eat at me until I did explode and do something dumb. I can’t afford that kind of anger today. Especially when it can be avoided by learning to state my boundaries.
I really don’t want to be that angry person because as I have explained to people it’s like a vial of poison and venom erupting in me and I feel so sorrowful afterwards. The other thing that happens, remember I said the word repetition? I hear the old tapes playing and I am acting out the old tapes; if I am letting old tapes control my life and how I treat myself and others.
Those old tapes if I am listening to them they become my self-talk. I know the real-me cannot afford the self-talk from those old tapes. I wouldn’t let anyone else talk to me that way. It becomes simple, not easy always, but stop it! Quit pushing play!
Its best I state boundaries and avoid that kind of thing. Its all part of self-care and doing my best when communicating with others. Not every day can I think of the next right thing. That’s why its so important to have tools and community. Leaning new habits and walking through fears.
I have a chance to not fight myself and those around me today, if I just can take some simple direction. Sometimes its humbling when you hear from someone younger, what the next right thing is to do. But if you can humble yourself enough to hear then why not take advantage and take some action.
We have heard it said many times. Life is not a dress rehearsal. I know so cliché. Yet it’s true, we don’t have time to wait to get it down right and perfect each time. But hopefully each time we live out the positive, the right, and truth, we manage to do a little bit better.
Maybe some days are a step backwards but there is hope! I am reminded of that today!
Thanks for reading!