Happy Thanksgiving!

  1. I am thankful to be alive for Thanksgiving 2017
  2. I am thankful for family and friends
  3. I am thankful to make a Thanksgiving Meal for me in my own place.
  4. I am thankful to have central air/and heating
  5. I am thankful for our veterans and first responders.
  6. I am thankful for my life and all the changes in the past year.
  7. I am thankful for for my bed and and the furniture I have .
  8. I am thankful for food and a way to cook it.
  9. I am thankful for rest and for nurses and doctors.
  10.  I am thankful for healing.

There’s so much for me to be grateful for today and for me I am very thankful I don’t drink or use drugs today.

I am thankful I have my own car today and that it runs well. Its very important for me to have my freedom.

For me, even  for what may seem small or unimportant to others I feel very thankful and fortunate to be able to share in giving thanks.

God is always there for me watching out and helping me work out what I cannot do for myself.

I hope today you find the many things you are thankful for and recall them and that they multiplied to you.

Thanks or reading!

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The Day Before Thanksgiving and Our Choices

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Hello Everyone, Its the day before thanksgiving and I admit I still need to work on being grateful everyday, but I am getting  there.

  1. I am thankful for coffee.
  2. I am thankful for my needs being filled.
  3. I am thankful for family and friends.
  4. I am thankful for a Loving God who has not forsaken me or left me alone even when I felt he had.
  5. I am thankful for being reminded that I do matter and everyone matters.
  6. I am thankfuI do get to live in the most free country in  the world.
  7. I am thankful for the small town I live in and that people still believe in traditions and family values.
  8. I am thankful for my special anonymous friends who are anything but anonymous to me.
  9. I am thankful for the people in the past year and them helping me learn how to be a bit more tolerant.
  10. I am thankful for choices.

Today I get to have choices and part of those choices are about giving and seeking forgiveness. Every week I do my best to really take a day of rest. I usually do so on a Saturday because its good  for me and a day of rest I believe God made for me.

I literally rest from people and everything that goes on during the rest of the week and this is just for me. I am not pushing this off an anyone else. This is what works for me.

My point is in this rest I get to reflect on me, my actions, my beliefs, thoughts, prayers, and meditation.

Just because I do these things, doesn’t make me a goody-two shoes. You’ll be sorely mistaken to pattern your life after mine.

In this past year my choices have gotten a hold of the anger, bitterness, and rage in me. I have not realized how bottled up I still, have kept things.  But the choices I have made in some areas sure have left me lacking and have others maybe nursing wounds I caused, because of my intolerance and unforgiveness.

I don’t know how to make everything right and I probably cant figure out everything but I do know a little more tolerance and a little bit more forgiveness is sweeter than vinegar. I don’t have to respond to everything. The lesson I am having to learn over and over; sometimes the best response is no response and that’s not just to benefit me, it benefits others too.

The choices I have today is to forgive others and make no response when I see something I strongly disagree with. I get a choice to make peace today if at all possible. If it is dependent upon me, it is possible. Sometimes it takes a little bit more elbow grease.

You or I have no idea what each other may be going through. As we gather together under one roof and even if far apart may we keep the peace if at all possible and remember that our relationships and friendships are more important than what we have to voice.

Thanks for reading

 

Parked By The Chapel

I really want to spend some time here, but I didn’t have a whole lot of time today.

I went to get a soda and feeling real spiritual some guy couldn’t wait two seconds for me to move, when he went around me he almost shaved my car. I didn’t cuss or call him a name I yelled so he could hear my words though. In the end we apologized the best we both could at the time.

I am leaving there and realize a special meeting is going on. I am only 18 minutes late but decided, I needed some serenity; so this would not be a bad time for me to hit this meeting. For some of those people, I had not seen them in a year. Even being late I loved the speaker.

When I left there I went to Columbia Park, where the chapel and gazebo both are that I love to spend time in, away from people.

I am hoping this weekend does well for me to rest and be ready for next week . Raking my personal time and quiet time is essential for me to get a long with others. Its nice to have that freedom again.

The things I am thankful for are:

  1. Some quiet time
  2. I can start my day over at any time
  3. I was able to attend a special meeting
  4. Seeing friends I haven’t seen in a year
  5. Today I have people who are concerned and care and want me to come back to them. It wasn’t always this way.
  6. I am sleeping more at night
  7. I get to be creative in taking care of myself today.
  8. A few of us watch out for each other and our vehicles here at the apartment , its nice to have that.
  9. I am actually contemplating again what it will be like when I don’t have to return to the wound clinic every week.  Which has been twice a week for the past year.
  10.  God still speak to me.

There’s been many positive things for me to point to this  week.

Thanks for reading!

Thankful Thursday

Hi Everyone!

The things I am grateful for:

  1. Friends and Family
  2. My wounds are healing
  3. The Nurses and staff @ Parkland Wound Care
  4. My friend Millie and I went to get our thanksgiving turkeys together.
  5. Knowing Friends are getting what they need
  6. Being able to pray with friends
  7. Asking God to help me when I know I don’t have a right attitude.
  8. When you want to reach up and slap someone but just grit your teeth and make out a smile instead.
  9. My Wednesday night and Sunday morning crews which mesh together remind me I am crazy and its okay today it gets better a day at a time and I don’t have to be mean today and I can start over at any time I choose to.
  10. I really want my life today and I genuinely care about me today.

I have a lot of thoughts going around in my head or maybe more so it would be the main question; what does it mean to take care of me today? No, I don’t need anyone else asking me this question I am obsessing on this question enough already. If you want to push me past my limit and hear some four letter words ask away. (This is fair warning).

What I do love about my life is living in a small rural town and having the freedom to take my time to cultivate and make long lasting for real friendships. I am also learning to use community resources and not have as many melt downs when I do become overwhelmed.

I don’t think I’ve realized how important having my own space is so important. I do get tired easily now. I have to rest more and I hate admitting to to my friends or to even myself. The thing is it all relates taking care of me because no one else can. No one else has the knowledge I have either, to take care of me.

My friendships and and my mom are important for me to stay current with. Its hard for me to stay current with my brother and his family now that they are in the UK but I wouldn’t wish anything else for them. They are where they are happiest and healthiest.

My heart breaks sometimes over missing them so much. But here’s the deal, I had to move away from church and family and friends too. Because this is what works for me, I know some of my friends don’t understand. My Mom gets it! Thank you God for that.

The other thing I wanted to touch on is that we are all growing in directions that may often differ. For me I know I am doing well at making changes I know it doesn’t make me a saint. When I am regressing with change I also know that doesn’t make me evil.

There are no cookie cutter ways to this journey of life. If it were that easy, there would be nothing to challenge us. Life must go on.

Thanks for reading!

 

So Much To Be Thankful For

Hey Everyone !

Today I am starting off with my list of what I am thankful for.

  1. Grateful for 2 friends prayed for and thought about last week that we haven’t at least seen each other online contacted me tonight well, one posted on  Facebook and the other texted me.
  2.  For a simple oil change that was done today ( Getting any service done to a car is a big/but simple thing in my book).
  3. Hanging with a friend after he got off work and being able to do something for him.
  4. Met up with a fellow blogger’s blog and wow super excited as she is real down to earth and yet like speaks Gods Language.
  5. God just letting me know I am on the right track again and that he is with me. when I am in my car alone I just feel like God is beside me and trying to help me direct my thinking . It’s where any other chatter stops in my thinking I realize this sounds crazy …But it’s where God gives me those wow moments!
  6. I don’t know how things are going to work out but God seems to always have a plan.
  7. My Sunday morning group is so important to me! So very Thankful for them all.
  8. My friends/ family like here at the apartments things each one of them says.
  9. So much to take in and think about that without others I would not have made it as far as I have in my life . ( I have learned a lot in the past year about taking care of myself). Just because I may fail a lot at it doesn’t mean I am not learning).
  10.  Prayers that have gone to God Jesus and The Holy Spirit on my behalf.

I am still not doing my list daily yet. I am making progress.

Wow,  my heart just soared this evening when I got a text from my buddy who is a pastor in the State of Washington . He reminded me he was praying for me, I so needed him to, if it makes sense. He has been like I don’t how many people who has been brought in my life to teach me about grace and to live it out in your beliefs , not just say you have them.

I think about the book “The Shack” by William P Young  and I cant help but wonder if God didn’t place certain people in our lives to be as some of the characters in the book and place some people to be as comforting as we would imagine a Holy Spirit to be if as person and to act as Jesus in our real on Going life and real God was Papa and sometimes in families the strongest and most supportive role is a woman and she is Papa ….I am not saying God is a she (Please don’t hear that); I am saying God uses people in our lives to be living examples and they bring us to Christ.

I also want to point out I am not here to tell you at all how you should believe.

I am here trying to explain and at the same time, understand myself exactly all I believe.

Thanks for reading!

 

A Day of Rest

Hi Everyone,

I apologize to you my readers and to myself I have not kept up with my thankfulness like I had planned.  It has been non stop for the most part and realizing my need to reevaluate my time management. Life is a highway …famous lyrics from a song

Man throughout the week is fine to stay busy; but there has to be some managing of time and all, at least for me. There always seems to be more things to get done than I can handle alone.  So when a day of rest comes its good for me to reflect and see how I can improve things and to hopefully not make empty promises.

Some days I feel Like I am shoved onto a passenger seat with a car moving 100/mph and it doesn’t get to stop til the end of the week.

My day of rest is so I can reflect and b e thankful and meditate on the good things in life. I want to help make it be a better world and not just cherry pick what I want and hopefully learn more a long the way.

The things I am thankful for:

  1. My car is fixed and running .
  2. Friends that shine a spot light on stuff you need to pay attention to.
  3. Friends that greet you and are happy to see you. They share with you and you share with them.
  4. Family  seeing a smile or just sending their heart reminding you, you are loved no matter what.
  5. Forgiveness and Grace the acts of love we both can give and receive
  6. A day of rest to revitalize and re-energize
  7. Healing physically emotionally and spiritually
  8. God providing ways out of things that are unmanageable so they can become manageable
  9. Simple prayers ( They mean so much when you are pressed up against the wall and cannot get past where you are).
  10. The breath of life to give me a chance just one more day to make a difference.

Those were not hard to come up with at all. Its amazing how things have kept me bouncing in the past year. In my minds eye I picture God sometimes picking up a dandelion and just blowing on it. It goes everywhere in every direction.  I feel like sometimes that’s what happens to us.

But even in the middle of what seems to be chaos its like you have to take time for a prayer even if its selfish and just saying “Oh please help me, God I can’t do this on my own and in my own strength. ” For the last 15 years, it feels like that’s been my prayer.

But as I reflect I can honestly say God, friends and family have brought me through to the other side and there’s only one rule for that to happen. The rule is  you keep putting one foot in front of the other. I could never name all the blessings I have had in the past 15 yrs; but I can say this, everything I am  thankful for had something to do with each blessing I have received.

I want to close this post b y saying I saw saying this week about the holidays and in it the main part that got me was this guy saying because I am a Christian I am not a jerk. My takeaway from that was… I don’t have to be a jerk today and I especially don’t have to b e a jerk because things don’t go my way.

A day of rest actually gives me some insurance against being a jerk. I am thankful I am not a jerk today .

Thanks for reading!

 

Welcome To Thankful November

He Everyone,

We are finally in a new month. Thankful November for me, will be about posting  30 days of things I am grateful for. I am also hoping to share a little something about that thankfulness and  gratitude.

Day 1

Things I am thankful for:     

1. I am thankful for a safe place to live.

2. I am grateful for friends and family.

3. I am thankful for a clean apartment.

4. I am thankful for not going hungry.

5. I am thankful for a comfortable safe b ed to sleep in.

6. I am thankful for my neighbors.

7. I am thankful for the nurses and doctors working with me.

8. I am thankful I have the best therapist ever.

9. I am thankful for living alone and that God has given me the gift of not being alone because He is always with me.

10. I am thankful for my coffee time that is just me time and taking the time to acknowledge God and seek that which he would have me do. He can direct my thinking if I ask him to.

11.  I am thankful that I can think about and take an interest in others.

12. I thankful that I can still learn from my mom and grandma.

I shared last in  my list of things I am thankful for, that I can still learn from my mom and grandma. I’ve watched for decades as they have changed and I have changed.

My mom reminds me often we don’t have to remain the same and my grandma shares daily devotionals. Today my grandma shared a devotional about how we first become distracted , deceived, and finally just discouraged.

It just all makes sense and when I am distracted I do get deceived in the way things are. I do get discouraged because what ever has me distracted  and deceived me has led me off course. I am no longer focused.

My hope is to be willing to accept those moments of clarity faster so I can get focused again on what is necessary and to find the lines and balance.

When I am in focus I am able to accept a peace that cannot be afforded any other way than through my Creator.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

The Serenity Prayer and The God Box

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Hello Everyone, the last time I shared I said I wanted to share about God Boxes and I do, but it’s going to come later in the post, as I want to share a prayer.

Right now, I want to share the short version of The Serenity Prayer which I am thankful for also because in that prayer is some guidance and it’s not just saying here God and walking away.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen

There’s several things this prayer says to me, for me. If it helps you and speaks to you great, we are all winners!

The first thing is since I am speaking to God I am not alone, but it often feels that way and you want to feel something touch something when you get in that space and cannot make heads or tails of something. So obviously at this point, I need some serenity, something that’s calm and soothing compared to whatever is going on, that I need sorted out.

  1. I am not alone. I am calling on God for help!
  2. I am asking God to grant me some serenity because the way that I am once I’ve been lit on fire about something going on that’s screwing my plans or my way; my magical mind has totally magnified whatever it is to the absolute worst! That’s the truth!
  3. Well that serenity is needed so I can accept the things I cannot change and the courage (I have a responsibility here) to change the things I can. Whatever I can change I need to find a way to do it. (It’s a process).
  4. And finally, I am asking again from God to give me the wisdom to know the difference.

So here, I have been numerous times trying to accept and just wanting to punch a hole in the wall instead. But guess what it doesn’t work and it fixes nothing. If anything, it magnifies everything and the problems keep mounting.

A piece of nugget shared with me over 13 years ago; whatever it is I feel is a feeling. Feelings sometimes lie to us. I cannot rely on my feelings alone.  My feelings often lie to me. That’s just a fact, so I must come up with a foundation to stand on secure.

That foundation has come to be known as God for me. I cannot do life alone. I cannot do life without there being a greater power than myself. I am going to be real with you in this next paragraph.

There have been days when I said screw this mess; I am done, just done! I have said a lot more, but I think you get the point. For me in the past year everything has brought me to my knees.

This life is real and I either must participate and rejoin the race of my life or stop. There’s no room to quit now that I have said that prayer. My only option is to get back up ride. I have been coasting too long. I lose faith when I coast. I must take responsibility. This prayer shows me how to do that.

When I truly have something I cannot change, it’s not just walking away from it by asking God to handle it. No, I get to learn how to live with thing and adapt because when cannot change something, and when I for how to accept it, the only thing I can change, is me.

This last part is about making a God Box or using a jar and painting & decorating it up.

The point is you write on a piece of paper whatever it is you cannot change and pray and ask for the serenity, the courage and the wisdom to know the difference. Then slip that piece of paper into your God container and get to work on the stuff you can change.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

Gratitude and Taking Care of Me

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Today I want to start focusing back on gratitude and thankfulness for the past year the things that have happened and the one word I started for myself back in January 2017.

 

In the past few months I have seen changes in myself I am not happy about such as being on edge more.

This is exactly why finding the gratitude and being thankful for what I do have makes a difference for me. When most of your friends point out you’re more crabby than usual it should be a flag to pay attention to.

My one word for the year has been “healing.” I will be the first to tell you that having gratitude, being thankful, and taking an interest in others can be direct help in physical and emotional healing. This also pertains to spiritual healing.

Isolating can really put me on edge and help me lose focus on my goals and I can tell you I only get by with isolating for a few days because inevitably I will have my mom or friends call or text saying, “what’s up?”

So, if I were to make a list of things I am grateful for it would look something like this below.

 

  1. I am grateful for a roof over my head in my own apartment
  2. I am grateful for  loving and friends who truly care.
  3. I am grateful for learning I can make it through hard times it has proven I am strong.
  4. I am grateful for a Loving God who has proven himself over and over to me even through what I call crap storms.
  5. I am grateful I am learning to be more direct with people and not waiting always until the last minute to sandbag them with old crap still festering inside.
  6. I am grateful for finding both face to face and online community.
  7. I am grateful for food in my fridge and pantry
  8. I am grateful for being able to share my experience, strength, and hope in that it helps me, help me.
  9. I am grateful for physical and emotional wounds healing.
  10. I am grateful for the experience of truly learning what others may say or think about me is none of my business and they can only push trigger buttons if I allow them.

The hardest job we have is taking care ourselves. I realize this may even sound selfish but if we are taking care of ourselves in the right ways with the right motives, it can be a help to others.

Taking care of me is also about me taking an interest in others so that I can get my head out of my own issues which are usually aa multitask listing that keep going around and around on the virtual merry-go-round in my mind.

As I have let people know the real me, all they have to do is catch me at the wrong moment and I will tell them to stop with the Mary Poppins Crap! Nothing frustrates me more than that alone.

I truly believe we are all a work in progress and time takes time. I usually hate clichés however, some fit.

I hope to share more with you on a regular daily basis. I want to continue this same subject next time so we can see how we grow along the way. Hopefully I can also share about the importance of having a God Box for myself and the way it helps in action.

Thanks for Reading!

 

 

What Are You Willing To Do Differently?

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What are you willing to do differently? This is the question I ask myself when changes come that are out of my control so that hopefully, I can adjust and adapt. Seldom has this worked because of not showing up to change things.

Life becomes hard and the struggles faced are many. I know you may think I am saying a lot to you and preaching at you, but no its myself! If you get something out of it great, if you think its horse crap that’s okay too.

Today I have spent a lot of time reflecting. In that reflection my behaviors and my life has come underneath the microscope for me to see how I deal with things. I know that for myself two things have to be initiated in order for things to change and that is being grateful for what I have and the art of prayer and meditation.

Those are only the beginning for change to happen. The thing that really needs to happen is knocking off the negativity , as well as forgiving and asking for forgiveness. The next thing is actually taking steps outside those tasks and going for a new direction to what is meant for me, not necessarily just what I want.

Most of the changes that have come my way have been life lessons and those I have the roots of anger and bitterness. When  you have anger and bitterness its hard to keep being grateful.

Nothing will change if I don’t change. While a lot of the things have been a fight maybe they would have been less of a fight if I had held on to knowing what has been tried and true. Its time to let God have it all and see what He can do through my gratitude and giving him thanks and not forgetting everyone who have helped a long the way.

We can never truly do it all alone but we can’t rest and let everyone else do our work for us. One step at a time but hopefully more than one step in a day. But it takes what it takes and time takes time . Here’s to picking myself up and keep on keepin’ on with gratitude and thankfulness.