When I made changes and moved here to this small town; I really believed I had a great plan. Like most great plans there’s usually a wrench thrown in some where and it really throws you off balance.
I was not prepared for the horrors or deep depression I would go through. Things became hard my wait for an apartment was longer than I wanted it to be and of course things were not going my way. I was ashamed and embarrassed by the predicament I was in. It was costing me my sanity and health.
I did have family and friends encouraging, helping, praying, calling , and texting. People sent things I needed. One man made the hour and 15 minute trip to bring me supplies. My own safety was even at risk. I really felt I had jumped from a frying pan into the fire.
There were so many lessons, blessings, and trials.
My lessons were as follows:
- It won’t always be this way. Things change constantly and so do people. I had to change as well.
- Trust for the best come about. This is really hard when you are in the middle of the storm. It doesn’t come over night.
- Recovery is a process. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly.
- Each day is a gift from God.
- No one knows what exactly you’re going through. Trying to explain what you’re going through, doesn’t even come close to the reality of the situation you are in.
- Never give up and sometimes you have to give up your own ideas for Gods Purpose to work through you.
- God is always there. He Loves He wants His best for you.
I can honestly say, I still need help in learning these lessons. I still get angry when things do not go my way. But, I am better than what I once was. I am not sure you ever graduate from these type of lessons.
No matter how much crap hit the fan, one of the best things I did for myself, was to find some gratitude. When I could not find gratitude myself, I had other people helping me find it; I didn’t always realize they were helping. In fact, I would just scream they just had no clue at times.
There came a time for a confession to myself, in order to find some acceptance. My confession was: I didn’t always make good decisions and I need to think things through, even when time was of the essence and I needed to move quickly. I needed help. But the truth was, many times I didn’t know exactly what kind of help was needed.
Sometimes you are the only person who can help you. This is done by making changes and the willingness to listen to others. This is usually very difficult for stubborn people.
While my circumstances have changed. The lessons have not gone away. Some of the struggles are still present. The brokenness inside myself is still hard to face in the mirror at times. But there have many blessing and new things have come about in ways I could never fathom.
The one thing that will defeat us more than anything is trying to go on without hope. Hope is what sustains us and grows into faith for brighter day.
My Prayer: Thank you God for never letting go. Thank you for friends and family. Thank you for grace and mercy. Your mercies are new every morning . Even when I don’t know how things are going to work out I do know you are faithful. Even when I am not.
Thank you for your blessings and teaching us how to bless others. May I never forget to be thankful for what I have. Amen
Thanks for Reading!