My Sacred Time

My sacred time starts Friday Evening to Saturday Evening. It’s a time for rest and thankfulness. It’s a time where I can let go of the week and think about the creation all around me. I can know that I am safe and its time set aside. I am not perfect at observing this time but its important enough to me, to recognize it.

I need this time to refuel myself and maybe more for me to learn to be more tolerant,  have a little bit more understanding and kindness for others. Sometimes I get so busy and caught up with needs and wants I forget to be thankful for what I do have.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

I have a loving God who has thought it necessary for me to keep going forward. He has given me friends who see me worth fighting for in the sense to get me to wake up each day and see outside of myself. Friends  and family who have invested in me. Friends and family who have invested time energy and things for me which I would not have otherwise.

I have choices today. I don’t have to be miserable. I have a chance to learn to be different and learn to do different from past mistakes. We in general, like to say if we would have known better, we would have done better.  That doesn’t mean I don’t  still do wrong. Today, I get the chance to do better in spite of wrong thinking and wrong decisions.

I can start my day over anytime, I choose. It only takes a decision to do so.

This past year has come with a lot of changes and learning to do different and to allow my thinking to change. While we can’t think our way into right behaviors, it does take changing our thinking to act in right behaviors.

I have had to open myself up to more options other than, what I just see in front of me. Listening to others  and their experiences can often benefit me in two ways. It either worked out in a positive manner or it did not turn out so good.

It’s in the quiet moments I can truly ask God to remove the defect of being so full of myself, that I can then  receive the good He has, for my best interest. In the end that’s where change begins.

God, I offer myself up to Thee-to build with me and to do as Thou will. Relieve me of the bondage of self. That I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that  victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power Thy Love and Thy way of Life . May I do Thy Will always. – Amen ( 3rd step prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book).

Thanks for reading!

 

5 Gallon Buckets with Lids 4 Sale

5 Gallon Buckets with Lids

Food Grade – Used Once

Please Read The Following:

Due to the high demand in 5 Gallon Buckets We Have an active waiting list They are $1 Each Bucket and it comes with lid
If You need buckets I urge you to contact me to get on the list and let me know amount of buckets needed.

Price is firm.

Pickup is in Farmington

I do not and cannot get messenger on my phone so please message me a contact # to call or text- Thank you!

You may call/text Mike : 573-Seven05-5355

 

Committed To Staying

August 16th, 2016 Became a real change in living conditions and in 9 months I am becoming stable living in my own apartment alone, but content.

Many friends helped me get through the times of transition and one friend took my late-night calls of sheer terror and fright I was going through. I wanted to give up a lot. I am thankful for the support of family and friends.

By December 2016 I owned my own car again for the first time in years. This is due to a very kind and generous couple very close to me.
A few friends have helped financially and wow what a miracle and how I owe so much gratitude and multiple loans from a friend to help with deposit and many other things that popped up.

I am doing what I can do to stay afloat and learning to live with in my means and that can be challenging but it’s time to tighten up more and try some new avenues. I am not sure what they will be, but as one friend said, my focus should be on healing.

In fact, healing is my word for 2017. The word healing for me while it’s for my physical well-being; it encompasses so much more. Spiritual Healing, emotional healing, so much of this comes from the support and learning so much more about myself in special gatherings with special friends.

During the past 2 months, there’s been more challenges. But I quit panicking finally. Not everything is such an urgency as much as learning to cope with and handle things differently. I also had to learn other people’s emergencies were not my own emergencies. I can’t fix anyone else. Taking care of me is a full-time job all its own.

I cannot take care of tomorrows all I truly have is this 24 hours to work in and that can be challenging enough.

I am reminded of the hula-hoop we all have. Inside that hula-hoop is our 24 hours and everything that we are responsible to ourselves for. As long as I can stay inside that hula-hoop I can help and be support of others. But it doesn’t come from myself alone it is by allowing the Loving God as I understand Him and don’t always understand that makes that possible.

The longer I live, the more I learn. There is always more being revealed.

Thanks for Reading!

A Day With God and Nature

Today was purposely for me to get out and breathe fresh air and enjoy God’s Creation. It really helps when you want to get out of your own head. There’s so much stuff to see when we think about it and hey just because it may sound like something someone else may not want to do, doesn’t mean you cant grab the car keys and go off and do it.

As much as we need others we also need our individual time. I have always been a believer in that.

I saw the horse in main picture and said I have to get a shot of this as I was in between places and passing a lot of farms. I saw cows too, a bunch of em but no where safe to pull off to get a picture.

The first place I went was The Missouri Mines, just outside St Joe State Park

I drove through St Joe Park but didn’t get pictures I had to come back home real quick because the sun was affecting my stomach and medication I had taken.

I didn’t let it stop me all together I got right back out there and headed to The Missouri Conservation Area and Bismarck Lake I found an okay spot since I wasn’t camping over night

With all earnestness I was trying to meditate but loud campers were too close by; but it did help me get out of my own head and my car (Allie the Alero) she got pretty dusty too. No time to wash her, because really it only takes a few roads before she gets that way again.

In the very last picture is a great place to be with the trees, water, shade, sun, and clouds  are just right.

I am going to start doing trips close by like this regularly because they are so helpful.

Thanks for reading!

 

Welcome to Manic Monday!

It’s not my fun day; but its another day above ground, so it must be a good one!

Today I will be sharing with you about a friends car crash she walked away from.  What a way to start thinking about safety and all. In this particular accident she was blessed to have lived, because she was not wearing her seat belt and that she was not driving and passed out.

When she shared this I was thinking about how it makes one wonder about their own mortality. How much gratitude one must feel, for living through something that could’ve taken a life in the blink of an eye. There have been  many who have had at least one brush with death and cheated it.

There’s been a couple of crashes in my own life and one where I rolled in a car. One where they say I walked in to the car but not really sure what happened; and  yet another,  where a deer moved the engine of a car through the dash.  There are other things that have happened as well.

Sometimes, I look back and realized I should have taken more stock of myself and taken some of the vows I have taken in this life, more serious.

All I could think when I saw this young lady before me that shared her experience was, Thank God You’re alive!

The Sacred Weekend

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     This weekend in my sacred time I am reflecting on friendships  and how they have played a part in my life. I have several friends from high-school days God saw fit to use to help me and bless me in many ways.  I never want to forget their loving kindness and hopefully in some way as I reflect and write thank yous to the ones I can, of my gratitude for them and the ways they have help me over some huge obstacles.

   There is also family that has been there to encourage and help even in words just to help me get through each day when the struggles were very hard.

    There is one who has stood by watched,cried, prayed, and begged me to let down my pride and admit I needed even more than just practical help.

   There have been newer friends even in the past 2 years who have just stood in the gap and helped, if even to just point the way to more help.  Also the ways towards helping myself get help.

    Finally and not least but there is God. Whom I’ve prob ably avoided in some cases because it has meant going through the same lessons over and over and never thanking enough.

  Because of God’s Grace and Goodness I have gotten stronger and more capable of doing things.  It all boils down to relationship. There are benefits in having relationships with people ad with God . With all there are lessons to go with each.

   Each relationship and friendship requires care and giving and remembering manners.    I am not one here to teach manners or tell anyone how to live I can only share my experience, strength, and hope.

  I can tell you, that if you hold each one as sacred and the time you spend together is treated as sacred you will have a lot less of, “I am sorry’s and a lot less I am wrong’s ,please forgive me. “

  This is my Sacred Time and my Sacred Weekend.

Thanks for Reading!

The Sun Will Rise Again!

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Happy Thursday!

While feeling a little nostalgic I am reminded of the people around me now and the wonderful things I have to be grateful for today.

For me, I have had my life really turned upside down in the past 6 months. I have been shaken to the core and turned inside out. I still may have struggles but, God and the lovely people in my life have proven themselves over and over to me.

Only 3 months ago when I entered the wound clinic at a nearby hospital after years and year of battling with my feet and legs they were wondering if amputation was going to be the outcome of all I had been through.

I was in bad denial of how far I let things go and hurting myself by trying to do so much. Today I am happy to say we are not even needing skin graphs I am finally healing. It is a slow educational process and having to let go of some control that I have been holding onto for years.

I didn’t want to let onto people how bad things had gotten. Much to my surprise anyone near me pretty much knew things were really bad. It was hard to hold my head up to look anyone in the eye. Much has been said behind this laptop. The anger and hatred of my life were boiling over the top.

I had no more control. But the love of God and people were there to match it. God said He would never leave me nor forsake me. He said its not all done yet. I am not a patient person by nature. But I am getting way better than I have been in the past.

Friends  from the internet to family to high-school mates of over 30 years have been there and what a miracle they all are to me. To know they’ve all cared whether it was a smile to a greeting or helpful hand and many have given to help many times over and above  like angels of mercy.

The many people who have prayed and wished me well in changing in new ways and moving to a different town. Going from not knowing where I was going to live to my own apartment now for 4 months. Thinking I would never have a car again to the miracle of having one. Making new friends and cherishing the ones I already have.

People helping me find ways to help myself. God bringing in ways when there was no way. In my previous world no one gets approved for an apartment within a week and moves in by that same weekend. In my previous world when you’re stuck and out of gas , you walk or crawl til you find your way to where you’re going.

It has taken a lot of remembering,  a lot of hope and other peoples help, joy, prayers, and love to be where I am today.

My Grandma was right, the sun did rise again!

Thanks for reading!

Just One Word

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I am here to share once again – Just One Word.

Resolutions do not work well for me. I don’t know many who have made resolutions, that they  have worked well for. I actually printed out the word cloud above which I made, and hung it on my wall. I want to do my best to live out my word. But the great relief is that, I don’t have to be perfect at it.

I sometimes like to complicate things and way over analyze them;  but it gets better with time. Sometimes life is just what it is. But it never hurts to have a plan or outlined guide,if you will. That doesn’t mean everything will go accordingly by no means but maybe, just maybe things wont feel so aimless  and just drifting.

I have found this is more enjoyable to share with small groups of people. The interesting thing can be sometimes to listen, really listen to hear and see the differences in each other both when sharing the same beliefs or different ones.

For me as I chose my word, all I had to do was look at my current state of physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being and knew I needed healing as my word. I don’t waste time explaining it to people who want to change my word , that’s not their job; either people support you or they don’t. You just keep moving , regardless!

Be prepared some will call you a hypocrite because you don’t live up to your beliefs or your goal of living out your word. The last time I checked, no one was perfect and most live as hypocrites if they are breathing in any oxygen. I like using the  12 – Step method with this and getting an idea of where I am.

Let me explain how I use twelve steps in my one word:

  1. I am powerless over my life- This wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t powerless.
  2. I am believing for a power Greater than myself God and a group of people to help.
  3. Making a decision to turn it over -I can’t do it alone.
  4. Taking inventory of how its going whats wrong.
  5. Sharing with one closed mouth friend and sometimes a few closed mouth friends.
  6. Finding the defects that could be making me stumble they have been put out into the open making me ready for God to take them.
  7. Actually asking God for help to remove those defects
  8. We started making a list of people we harmed along the way
  9. Making direct amends to such people except when to do so would injure them or  others.
  10. Continue reviewing and doing steps 1-9 and promptly admitting where and when I am wrong, sometimes its easier said than done.
  11. Seeking God through meditation and prayer to have a better connection with God asking Him for His will and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had this awakening in God that I would continue to press on and help others when ever however I can.

All we have is just one word, one life, our faith, and one day.

Be blessed, healthy, and happy.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year!

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Its The Sacred Weekend… A Time of peace,rest reflecting, worship, prayer, and meditation.

Its really cold here as it is a lot of places right now and I love being home in my place. Pulling the blanket over me as I enjoy my  hot cocoa and the door is closed to all other chaos keeping all drama outside.

It’s a brand new year full of possibilities, hopes,  and dreams.

We have the choice to be happy but that doesn’t mean sad things don’t happen.

We have the choice to be positive that doesn’t mean negative things don’t happen.

Our homes can  be our sanctuary of refuge. However it can be very challenging to keep it this way.

I pray that I may see God’s meaning in my life. I pray that I may
gladly accept what God has to teach me.
Hazelden 24 Hours A Day Prayer

As I read the meditation I do realize its in silence God brings meaning to my heart.

Without God’s Meaning the words are empty and fruitless.

Many of us cry for prosperity, change, and peace. Many are feeling without hope.

As I enter this new year, I personally want healed in many areas of my life. My actions past and present would say that I deserve nothing. Thankfully its not based  on my behavior rather on a loving God who grants us peace beyond all comprehension and mercy and grace so that I may continue the journey of life.

This new year brings forth the chance to live out our changes. We don’t have to remain the same and we can be better and live better.

May you find the hope now for a better today!

Thanks For Reading!

 

When Life Gets Tough!

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When I made changes and moved here to this small town; I really believed I had a great plan. Like most great plans there’s usually a wrench thrown in some where and it really throws you off balance.

I was not prepared for the horrors or deep depression I would go through. Things became hard my wait for an apartment was longer than I wanted it to be and of course things were not going my way. I was ashamed and embarrassed by the predicament I was in. It was costing me my sanity and health.

I did have family and friends encouraging, helping, praying, calling , and texting.  People sent things I needed. One man made the hour and 15 minute trip to bring me supplies. My own safety was even at risk. I really felt I had jumped from a frying pan into the fire.

There were so many lessons, blessings, and trials.

My lessons were as follows:

  1. It won’t always be this way. Things change constantly and so do people. I had to change as well.
  2. Trust for the best come about. This is really hard when you are in the middle of the storm. It doesn’t come over night.
  3. Recovery is a process. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly.
  4. Each day is a gift from God.
  5.  No one knows what exactly you’re going through. Trying to explain what you’re going through, doesn’t even come close to the reality of the situation you are in.
  6. Never give up and sometimes you have to give up your own ideas for Gods Purpose to work through you.
  7. God is always there. He Loves He wants His best for you.

I can honestly say, I still need help in learning these lessons. I still get angry when things do not go my way. But, I am better than what I once was. I am not sure you ever graduate from these type of lessons.

No matter how much crap hit the fan, one of the best things I did for myself, was to find some gratitude. When I could not find gratitude myself, I had other people helping me find it; I didn’t always realize they were helping. In fact, I would just scream they just had no clue at times.

There came a time for a confession to myself, in order to find some acceptance. My confession was: I didn’t always make good decisions and I need to think things through, even when time was of the essence and I needed to move quickly. I needed help. But the truth was, many times I didn’t know exactly what kind of help was needed.

Sometimes you are the only person who can help you. This is done by making changes and the willingness to listen to others. This is usually very difficult for stubborn people.

While my circumstances have changed. The lessons have not gone away. Some of the struggles are still present. The brokenness inside myself is still hard to face in the mirror at times. But there have many blessing and new things have come about in ways I could never fathom.

The one thing that will defeat us more than anything is trying to go on without hope. Hope is what sustains us and grows into faith for brighter day.

My Prayer:  Thank you God for never letting go. Thank you for friends and family. Thank you for grace and mercy. Your mercies are new every morning . Even when I don’t know how things are going to work out I do know you are faithful. Even when I am not.

Thank you for your blessings and teaching us how to bless others. May I never forget to be thankful for what I have. Amen

Thanks for Reading!