The Serenity Prayer and The God Box

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Hello Everyone, the last time I shared I said I wanted to share about God Boxes and I do, but it’s going to come later in the post, as I want to share a prayer.

Right now, I want to share the short version of The Serenity Prayer which I am thankful for also because in that prayer is some guidance and it’s not just saying here God and walking away.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen

There’s several things this prayer says to me, for me. If it helps you and speaks to you great, we are all winners!

The first thing is since I am speaking to God I am not alone, but it often feels that way and you want to feel something touch something when you get in that space and cannot make heads or tails of something. So obviously at this point, I need some serenity, something that’s calm and soothing compared to whatever is going on, that I need sorted out.

  1. I am not alone. I am calling on God for help!
  2. I am asking God to grant me some serenity because the way that I am once I’ve been lit on fire about something going on that’s screwing my plans or my way; my magical mind has totally magnified whatever it is to the absolute worst! That’s the truth!
  3. Well that serenity is needed so I can accept the things I cannot change and the courage (I have a responsibility here) to change the things I can. Whatever I can change I need to find a way to do it. (It’s a process).
  4. And finally, I am asking again from God to give me the wisdom to know the difference.

So here, I have been numerous times trying to accept and just wanting to punch a hole in the wall instead. But guess what it doesn’t work and it fixes nothing. If anything, it magnifies everything and the problems keep mounting.

A piece of nugget shared with me over 13 years ago; whatever it is I feel is a feeling. Feelings sometimes lie to us. I cannot rely on my feelings alone.  My feelings often lie to me. That’s just a fact, so I must come up with a foundation to stand on secure.

That foundation has come to be known as God for me. I cannot do life alone. I cannot do life without there being a greater power than myself. I am going to be real with you in this next paragraph.

There have been days when I said screw this mess; I am done, just done! I have said a lot more, but I think you get the point. For me in the past year everything has brought me to my knees.

This life is real and I either must participate and rejoin the race of my life or stop. There’s no room to quit now that I have said that prayer. My only option is to get back up ride. I have been coasting too long. I lose faith when I coast. I must take responsibility. This prayer shows me how to do that.

When I truly have something I cannot change, it’s not just walking away from it by asking God to handle it. No, I get to learn how to live with thing and adapt because when cannot change something, and when I for how to accept it, the only thing I can change, is me.

This last part is about making a God Box or using a jar and painting & decorating it up.

The point is you write on a piece of paper whatever it is you cannot change and pray and ask for the serenity, the courage and the wisdom to know the difference. Then slip that piece of paper into your God container and get to work on the stuff you can change.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

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Gratitude and Taking Care of Me

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Today I want to start focusing back on gratitude and thankfulness for the past year the things that have happened and the one word I started for myself back in January 2017.

 

In the past few months I have seen changes in myself I am not happy about such as being on edge more.

This is exactly why finding the gratitude and being thankful for what I do have makes a difference for me. When most of your friends point out you’re more crabby than usual it should be a flag to pay attention to.

My one word for the year has been “healing.” I will be the first to tell you that having gratitude, being thankful, and taking an interest in others can be direct help in physical and emotional healing. This also pertains to spiritual healing.

Isolating can really put me on edge and help me lose focus on my goals and I can tell you I only get by with isolating for a few days because inevitably I will have my mom or friends call or text saying, “what’s up?”

So, if I were to make a list of things I am grateful for it would look something like this below.

 

  1. I am grateful for a roof over my head in my own apartment
  2. I am grateful for  loving and friends who truly care.
  3. I am grateful for learning I can make it through hard times it has proven I am strong.
  4. I am grateful for a Loving God who has proven himself over and over to me even through what I call crap storms.
  5. I am grateful I am learning to be more direct with people and not waiting always until the last minute to sandbag them with old crap still festering inside.
  6. I am grateful for finding both face to face and online community.
  7. I am grateful for food in my fridge and pantry
  8. I am grateful for being able to share my experience, strength, and hope in that it helps me, help me.
  9. I am grateful for physical and emotional wounds healing.
  10. I am grateful for the experience of truly learning what others may say or think about me is none of my business and they can only push trigger buttons if I allow them.

The hardest job we have is taking care ourselves. I realize this may even sound selfish but if we are taking care of ourselves in the right ways with the right motives, it can be a help to others.

Taking care of me is also about me taking an interest in others so that I can get my head out of my own issues which are usually aa multitask listing that keep going around and around on the virtual merry-go-round in my mind.

As I have let people know the real me, all they have to do is catch me at the wrong moment and I will tell them to stop with the Mary Poppins Crap! Nothing frustrates me more than that alone.

I truly believe we are all a work in progress and time takes time. I usually hate clichés however, some fit.

I hope to share more with you on a regular daily basis. I want to continue this same subject next time so we can see how we grow along the way. Hopefully I can also share about the importance of having a God Box for myself and the way it helps in action.

Thanks for Reading!

 

 

What Are You Willing To Do Differently?

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What are you willing to do differently? This is the question I ask myself when changes come that are out of my control so that hopefully, I can adjust and adapt. Seldom has this worked because of not showing up to change things.

Life becomes hard and the struggles faced are many. I know you may think I am saying a lot to you and preaching at you, but no its myself! If you get something out of it great, if you think its horse crap that’s okay too.

Today I have spent a lot of time reflecting. In that reflection my behaviors and my life has come underneath the microscope for me to see how I deal with things. I know that for myself two things have to be initiated in order for things to change and that is being grateful for what I have and the art of prayer and meditation.

Those are only the beginning for change to happen. The thing that really needs to happen is knocking off the negativity , as well as forgiving and asking for forgiveness. The next thing is actually taking steps outside those tasks and going for a new direction to what is meant for me, not necessarily just what I want.

Most of the changes that have come my way have been life lessons and those I have the roots of anger and bitterness. When  you have anger and bitterness its hard to keep being grateful.

Nothing will change if I don’t change. While a lot of the things have been a fight maybe they would have been less of a fight if I had held on to knowing what has been tried and true. Its time to let God have it all and see what He can do through my gratitude and giving him thanks and not forgetting everyone who have helped a long the way.

We can never truly do it all alone but we can’t rest and let everyone else do our work for us. One step at a time but hopefully more than one step in a day. But it takes what it takes and time takes time . Here’s to picking myself up and keep on keepin’ on with gratitude and thankfulness.

 

 

My Sacred Time

My sacred time starts Friday Evening to Saturday Evening. It’s a time for rest and thankfulness. It’s a time where I can let go of the week and think about the creation all around me. I can know that I am safe and its time set aside. I am not perfect at observing this time but its important enough to me, to recognize it.

I need this time to refuel myself and maybe more for me to learn to be more tolerant,  have a little bit more understanding and kindness for others. Sometimes I get so busy and caught up with needs and wants I forget to be thankful for what I do have.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

I have a loving God who has thought it necessary for me to keep going forward. He has given me friends who see me worth fighting for in the sense to get me to wake up each day and see outside of myself. Friends  and family who have invested in me. Friends and family who have invested time energy and things for me which I would not have otherwise.

I have choices today. I don’t have to be miserable. I have a chance to learn to be different and learn to do different from past mistakes. We in general, like to say if we would have known better, we would have done better.  That doesn’t mean I don’t  still do wrong. Today, I get the chance to do better in spite of wrong thinking and wrong decisions.

I can start my day over anytime, I choose. It only takes a decision to do so.

This past year has come with a lot of changes and learning to do different and to allow my thinking to change. While we can’t think our way into right behaviors, it does take changing our thinking to act in right behaviors.

I have had to open myself up to more options other than, what I just see in front of me. Listening to others  and their experiences can often benefit me in two ways. It either worked out in a positive manner or it did not turn out so good.

It’s in the quiet moments I can truly ask God to remove the defect of being so full of myself, that I can then  receive the good He has, for my best interest. In the end that’s where change begins.

God, I offer myself up to Thee-to build with me and to do as Thou will. Relieve me of the bondage of self. That I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that  victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power Thy Love and Thy way of Life . May I do Thy Will always. – Amen ( 3rd step prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book).

Thanks for reading!

 

5 Gallon Buckets with Lids 4 Sale

5 Gallon Buckets with Lids

Food Grade – Used Once

Please Read The Following:

Due to the high demand in 5 Gallon Buckets We Have an active waiting list They are $1 Each Bucket and it comes with lid
If You need buckets I urge you to contact me to get on the list and let me know amount of buckets needed.

Price is firm.

Pickup is in Farmington

I do not and cannot get messenger on my phone so please message me a contact # to call or text- Thank you!

You may call/text Mike : 573-Seven05-5355

 

Committed To Staying

August 16th, 2016 Became a real change in living conditions and in 9 months I am becoming stable living in my own apartment alone, but content.

Many friends helped me get through the times of transition and one friend took my late-night calls of sheer terror and fright I was going through. I wanted to give up a lot. I am thankful for the support of family and friends.

By December 2016 I owned my own car again for the first time in years. This is due to a very kind and generous couple very close to me.
A few friends have helped financially and wow what a miracle and how I owe so much gratitude and multiple loans from a friend to help with deposit and many other things that popped up.

I am doing what I can do to stay afloat and learning to live with in my means and that can be challenging but it’s time to tighten up more and try some new avenues. I am not sure what they will be, but as one friend said, my focus should be on healing.

In fact, healing is my word for 2017. The word healing for me while it’s for my physical well-being; it encompasses so much more. Spiritual Healing, emotional healing, so much of this comes from the support and learning so much more about myself in special gatherings with special friends.

During the past 2 months, there’s been more challenges. But I quit panicking finally. Not everything is such an urgency as much as learning to cope with and handle things differently. I also had to learn other people’s emergencies were not my own emergencies. I can’t fix anyone else. Taking care of me is a full-time job all its own.

I cannot take care of tomorrows all I truly have is this 24 hours to work in and that can be challenging enough.

I am reminded of the hula-hoop we all have. Inside that hula-hoop is our 24 hours and everything that we are responsible to ourselves for. As long as I can stay inside that hula-hoop I can help and be support of others. But it doesn’t come from myself alone it is by allowing the Loving God as I understand Him and don’t always understand that makes that possible.

The longer I live, the more I learn. There is always more being revealed.

Thanks for Reading!

A Day With God and Nature

Today was purposely for me to get out and breathe fresh air and enjoy God’s Creation. It really helps when you want to get out of your own head. There’s so much stuff to see when we think about it and hey just because it may sound like something someone else may not want to do, doesn’t mean you cant grab the car keys and go off and do it.

As much as we need others we also need our individual time. I have always been a believer in that.

I saw the horse in main picture and said I have to get a shot of this as I was in between places and passing a lot of farms. I saw cows too, a bunch of em but no where safe to pull off to get a picture.

The first place I went was The Missouri Mines, just outside St Joe State Park

I drove through St Joe Park but didn’t get pictures I had to come back home real quick because the sun was affecting my stomach and medication I had taken.

I didn’t let it stop me all together I got right back out there and headed to The Missouri Conservation Area and Bismarck Lake I found an okay spot since I wasn’t camping over night

With all earnestness I was trying to meditate but loud campers were too close by; but it did help me get out of my own head and my car (Allie the Alero) she got pretty dusty too. No time to wash her, because really it only takes a few roads before she gets that way again.

In the very last picture is a great place to be with the trees, water, shade, sun, and clouds  are just right.

I am going to start doing trips close by like this regularly because they are so helpful.

Thanks for reading!

 

Welcome to Manic Monday!

It’s not my fun day; but its another day above ground, so it must be a good one!

Today I will be sharing with you about a friends car crash she walked away from.  What a way to start thinking about safety and all. In this particular accident she was blessed to have lived, because she was not wearing her seat belt and that she was not driving and passed out.

When she shared this I was thinking about how it makes one wonder about their own mortality. How much gratitude one must feel, for living through something that could’ve taken a life in the blink of an eye. There have been  many who have had at least one brush with death and cheated it.

There’s been a couple of crashes in my own life and one where I rolled in a car. One where they say I walked in to the car but not really sure what happened; and  yet another,  where a deer moved the engine of a car through the dash.  There are other things that have happened as well.

Sometimes, I look back and realized I should have taken more stock of myself and taken some of the vows I have taken in this life, more serious.

All I could think when I saw this young lady before me that shared her experience was, Thank God You’re alive!

The Sacred Weekend

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     This weekend in my sacred time I am reflecting on friendships  and how they have played a part in my life. I have several friends from high-school days God saw fit to use to help me and bless me in many ways.  I never want to forget their loving kindness and hopefully in some way as I reflect and write thank yous to the ones I can, of my gratitude for them and the ways they have help me over some huge obstacles.

   There is also family that has been there to encourage and help even in words just to help me get through each day when the struggles were very hard.

    There is one who has stood by watched,cried, prayed, and begged me to let down my pride and admit I needed even more than just practical help.

   There have been newer friends even in the past 2 years who have just stood in the gap and helped, if even to just point the way to more help.  Also the ways towards helping myself get help.

    Finally and not least but there is God. Whom I’ve prob ably avoided in some cases because it has meant going through the same lessons over and over and never thanking enough.

  Because of God’s Grace and Goodness I have gotten stronger and more capable of doing things.  It all boils down to relationship. There are benefits in having relationships with people ad with God . With all there are lessons to go with each.

   Each relationship and friendship requires care and giving and remembering manners.    I am not one here to teach manners or tell anyone how to live I can only share my experience, strength, and hope.

  I can tell you, that if you hold each one as sacred and the time you spend together is treated as sacred you will have a lot less of, “I am sorry’s and a lot less I am wrong’s ,please forgive me. “

  This is my Sacred Time and my Sacred Weekend.

Thanks for Reading!

The Sun Will Rise Again!

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Happy Thursday!

While feeling a little nostalgic I am reminded of the people around me now and the wonderful things I have to be grateful for today.

For me, I have had my life really turned upside down in the past 6 months. I have been shaken to the core and turned inside out. I still may have struggles but, God and the lovely people in my life have proven themselves over and over to me.

Only 3 months ago when I entered the wound clinic at a nearby hospital after years and year of battling with my feet and legs they were wondering if amputation was going to be the outcome of all I had been through.

I was in bad denial of how far I let things go and hurting myself by trying to do so much. Today I am happy to say we are not even needing skin graphs I am finally healing. It is a slow educational process and having to let go of some control that I have been holding onto for years.

I didn’t want to let onto people how bad things had gotten. Much to my surprise anyone near me pretty much knew things were really bad. It was hard to hold my head up to look anyone in the eye. Much has been said behind this laptop. The anger and hatred of my life were boiling over the top.

I had no more control. But the love of God and people were there to match it. God said He would never leave me nor forsake me. He said its not all done yet. I am not a patient person by nature. But I am getting way better than I have been in the past.

Friends  from the internet to family to high-school mates of over 30 years have been there and what a miracle they all are to me. To know they’ve all cared whether it was a smile to a greeting or helpful hand and many have given to help many times over and above  like angels of mercy.

The many people who have prayed and wished me well in changing in new ways and moving to a different town. Going from not knowing where I was going to live to my own apartment now for 4 months. Thinking I would never have a car again to the miracle of having one. Making new friends and cherishing the ones I already have.

People helping me find ways to help myself. God bringing in ways when there was no way. In my previous world no one gets approved for an apartment within a week and moves in by that same weekend. In my previous world when you’re stuck and out of gas , you walk or crawl til you find your way to where you’re going.

It has taken a lot of remembering,  a lot of hope and other peoples help, joy, prayers, and love to be where I am today.

My Grandma was right, the sun did rise again!

Thanks for reading!